What he's craving from you on a first date, part 2
The exact energetic shifts, micro-behaviors, and step by step guidance that build intimacy and attraction on first dates & beyond.
Ok soooo a few weeks ago, I shared What He Actually Wants From You on a First Date, and it officially became my most popular Substack article to date. Almost 6K of you read it, and while there were a lotttt of not so nice comments, it also spoke to a lot of you. When something strikes a nerve, I no longer take it personally…I simply think, ok this concept is triggering something in the world, which means there is way more to explore here.
So today, we’re going deeper on this concept. I’m going to give you the REAL tea of what men crave from you on a first date and beyond. Like what this actually looks like in PRACTICE, the tools, the actual how to-s.
These are not manipulative strategies, rules, or seduction tactics - these are exercises that build intimacy, polarity, and attraction in an authentic feminine way (which is the only thing that is actually sustainable and works long term).
As a refresher, what men actually want on first dates (and beyond) is to FEEL you. And in order to feel you, you must be in your body, expressing what you’re experiencing inside of your body. This is the definition of true, not performative, femininity.***
Most women believe men care about external things: trendy outfits, flat stomachs, and accomplishments. Most women think he he wants to talk about himself, keep things light, or have some witty banter. So they connect with their heads on dates, asking lots of questions and showing that they are smart and fun.
None of this is inherently bad, but it doesn’t move men in the same way as your authentic feminine, emotional, body-based energy does.
As one of my male readers (s/o to Andrew!!) commented:
“When a woman brings genuine emotion to a conversation, this is something most men don’t experience in day to day interactions. Especially if it’s responsive - a man will react strongly & positively if he feels like his presence is unlocking emotional warmth in a woman.”
Attraction, especially for men, is extremely energetic. They are operating with their animal bodies — not their heads. He feels drawn to you when he experiences your emotions, your heart, your soul, and passion…plus the way you’re receiving him.
I’m sure you can attest to this too. Most women are less attracted to words and gifts, and rather, a man’s masculine energy. How grounded, safe, and assertive he feels. His fire and earthiness. The way he holds space for you. His presence and ability to see and attune to you. Gifts and words are great, but it’s probably not what moves you either.
***And quick aside - because this is a big point of confusion. Femininity and masculinity are actually not gendered terms. They are archetypal energies based on the work of Carl Jung. All humans have both masculine and feminine energy, but in dating and romantic relationships, most women will feel best leading with their femininity, whereas most men will feel best leading with their masculinity.
How to actually lead with your feminine on a date
I started really studying feminine energetics and polarity back in January of 2024. My now partner and I were broken up at the time, and while I had come a long way in love, I still wasn’t fully attracting the dynamics I desired. On a whim, I decided to spend $5K to work 1-1 with a very experienced Polarity Teacher, and let me tell you - things began to shift very quickly.
Because what she taught me weren’t seduction techniques, it was how to embody feminine energy in a way that makes you naturally attractive - without even trying.
Shortly after our work began, I went on a Hinge date that confirmed just how powerful these energetic embodiments were.
It was one of those dates where he *somehow* looked better than he did in his profile photos. We went to a gorgeous outdoor brewery, surrounded by the mountains. We had great conversation, and he wasn’t shy to admit that he had dated, a LOT. And at the end of the date, he assertively told me, “This is the best date I’ve gone on in a long time.”
Because I had recently left my job to go full time in my dating business, I was obviously curious…like for research purposes ;)
So I asked him: Why?
He had a shockingly articulate and lengthy response that confirmed everything I had been learning…
And I’m going to share exactly what he said (plus what other healthy, masculine men have told me they desire in a woman). AND how to actually put all of this into practice — from your feminine.
This is juicy stuff, so yes there is a paywall here!!!
Because everyone talks about feminine energy. But no one tells you how to embody it on a date in a way that is actually felt by a masculine man…without performing.
These next 5 pieces are the exact micro-behaviors and energetic shifts that make men say “there’s something different about her.” And I’m going to give you simple yet crazy powerful step-by-step practices you can use on your very next date.